Helping Children Build Self-Regulation Through Conflict Resolution

Teaching children how to manage big feelings and social challenges is an important part of early childhood development. One powerful tool that supports this growth is the 6 steps of conflict resolution. While these steps are often used to settle disagreements between peers, they also promote self-regulation, the ability to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.

Here’s how:

1. Approach Calmly – When an adult models calm behavior, children learn how to slow down and center themselves before reacting.

2. Acknowledge Feelings – Affirming and naming/labeling emotions like anger, frustration, or sadness helps children identify their feelings. Recognizing emotions is the first step in managing them.

3. Gather Information – Encouraging children to explain what happened builds self-awareness.

4. Restate the Problem – Repeating the problem back to the child, without inserting your own opinion, shows that their voice matters and helps them process the situation from a calmer perspective.

5. Ask for Ideas for Solutions – Empowering children to solve problems builds confidence and critical thinking. They learn that they have choices, which supports emotional control.

6. Follow Up – Checking in afterward reinforces the learning and helps children understand the outcomes of their choices.

   
   

   

   Highscope's Six Steps of Conflict Resolution

When practiced consistently, the 6 steps of conflict resolution do more than solve problems, they also help children build inner tools to pause, think, and choose appropriate responses. Over time, these tools become habits that support healthier relationships and better emotional balance.